momwithwords

I went to a fundraiser this past Saturday. It was the same fundraiser we have attended for the last 15 years. It is put on by All Saints Parish, and each year they choose a new charity or organization to donate the funds. This year was no different, except for one minor detail…it was the Roman Catholic School Division who benefited for their hot lunch program.

Now, usually I wouldn’t make a big deal or write about this event but this year I have to express my feelings. As a lot of you know, I volunteered at Children of St. Martha School while my kids were enrolled. During that time I held many positions on Council and the one Position I held the longest was that of Hot Lunch Coordinator and volunteer.

When I started doing hot lunch, it was held once a month. We sold milk (which we got for a great price) and different food items such as McDonald’s cheeseburgers, Arby’s, Subway, Panago Pizza, and hot dogs. We priced it out to be as affordable as possible (we got the milk for $.50 a carton and sold it for $1.00; cheeseburgers were $1 and we sold them for $1.50; subs were $1.50 and were sold for $2.00, hotdogs were sold for $1 each) we didn’t make much of a profit, even then, lunches were under $5.00 and all the money went towards food on Sports day. Over the years, as food prices went up so did hot lunch prices, unable to keep prices down and so tired of the heated and rather loud “discussions” with teachers and school council members at meetings, I stepped down. I felt there was nothing more I could do and I was tired of fighting.

Children of St. Martha Elementary was not and is not a wealthy school. While I was there, we had small class sizes, loving and caring teachers, a diverse community, and the school itself just exuded a homey feel. That being said, there was a sad side as well. The school has a lot of single parent families, kids in foster homes or living with guardians, drug and alcohol addictions (at home), and because of the diversity and the issues I mentioned above, kids coming to school hungry. There were many times I saw kids come to the kitchen mid morning and get something to eat. It was heartbreaking to see a child cry because their stomach hurt and then hear them say they hadn’t eaten since the night before.

The last three or four years I was there, things changed a bit. We started a hot breakfast program (thanks to a grant and, I believe, the school board) . Kids were able to come to school and get, not only cereal and juice, but scrambled eggs and toast, hash browns, pancakes, French toast, and even grilled cheese (yes, I said grilled cheese) for breakfast. I took on the position of School Council chair and started a new lunch program. Thanks to three of the best moms I could ever work with, we had a lunch every week. We served chicken ranch/ceasar wraps, taco in a bag, pizza and hotdogs…all were sold with a yogurt tube and a juice box and we were able to keep it around five or six dollars. We got together one day and discussed how teachers were buying lunches for some of their students, we had a small box with spare change (petty cash) which we used for these occasions. One mom suggested we start an anonymous donation box in the office for this reason and “Hot Lunch Angels” was born. Parents and teachers could donate at any time and teachers no longer had to feel bad if a certain student didn’t have lunch…a form was filled out that only we saw and that was it.

I know this was a long lead in as to why I wrote this blog, but I needed everyone to know what schools are facing. Our school worked hard to finally have food programs that would benefit everyone, but that wouldn’t be an issue if ALL government bodies (Federal, Provincial, and Municipal) would budget appropriately for these programs. In my mind, it isn’t fair for a school board to have to use a church fundraiser to raise money to feed students. That being said, something needs to be done by us as well. Society, as a whole, needs to stop criticizing those who live in poverty. Why? Because we never know whether or not we will ever be in that position. Before we berate someone for not being able to feed their child, we need to put ourselves in their shoes. We need to ask ourselves these questions…What would I do if that was me? Would I be ashamed to tell the school I can’t afford bread and meat for lunch? Would I be too proud or ashamed to ask for help?

In conclusion, although the fundraiser was fun and I won two baskets in the silent auction, if governments want schools like St. Martha’s to supply nutritious lunches then they have to take the first step and not leave it up to school boards or individual schools to hold fundraisers for such programs. Society needs to stop criticizing parents who can’t afford food for lunches. Parents and caregivers need to step up and admit when they are having trouble so the school can help.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

I have lived in Lethbridge ever since I got married, which is 24 years, and I have to say the rising crime rate alarms me. Why? I don’t know, after all we are now at the 100,000 mark and with a rise in population comes a rise in crime.

I think what alarms me more than anything is the fact that the area I felt so safe in has now become a hive of criminal activity. In the last two months, and within a short drive from where we live, we have had a bike chop shop ring busted, a drug bust just around the corner, an attempted shooting (in an alley I walk my dog), and three attempted kidnappings of young children. The attempted kidnappings have been in the last week. Up until now the worst thing that happened was my next door neighbour, who terrorized the street for ten years in one form or another.

There are many people who will blame all of this on the NDP (before last election), unemployment in the oil fields, the opioid crisis, and/or the SCS (safe consumption site). As sad as it is for me to say, aside from the NDP, I think it is a combination of everything. Some people will go so far to say that it has something to do with certain ethnic groups, the homeless, or the legalization of marijuana. I am not certain if it does or not but I can say as I did in the beginning, which is, as the population rises so does the crime. Unfortunately, as the population in my end of the city increases it is bringing with it opioids, guns, kidnappings, theft, threats and constant police surveillance. I still feel safe but not as safe as I did a year or two ago.

When we first moved here I had no fear of walking after dark, nor did I have a fear of keeping my doors unlocked or getting to know my neighbours. These recent incidents have changed all of that and that saddens me. We picked this area because it was full of families with young children, a large backyard and plenty of parks. My kids could play outside after dark and I never had to worry, I could go to the mail box and mail a letter without having to lock my door, I could trust my neighbours with a door key when we went out of town, and I could sleep at night without worrying about someone trying to break in with a butcher knife or wondering who was out walking late at night.

I am sad to think that my neighbourhood has changed so much but even sadder to think that people can’t even trust one another anymore.

THAT’S MY LETHBRIDGE RANT AND I AM OUTTA HERE!

It was Sunday. I’m not sure where Garth was, but Dan (who was just over seven months old at the time) had just gone down for a nap when the phone rang. I answered it and heard a voice say “My f*****g mouth hurts”, I laughed. It was mom, and it was the beginning of the last conversation we would ever have.

For those who don’t know, mom had been diagnosed with lymphatic cancer in November and with brain cancer in December. December had been a hard month, with her getting sicker and sicker until she was diagnosed just before New Year. Conversations at that time had been harder and harder, so to have her call me and sound happy and be joking was a miracle (at least in my mind). Now on to the conversation…

I asked her why her mouth was sore and she said it was full of sores from the radiation so the doctor had given her a rinse to use. What made this part of the conversation even more funny was that she was more ticked off that she couldn’t eat canned tomatoes anymore (they now tasted like metal and burned) than she was about the after effects of treatment.

We talked about the weather, Dan, Garth, dad, Brent Terry, you get the picture. We talked about everything and everyone. It was the best conversation we had had in a long time. After about 90 minutes it was time to say good bye, she was tired and dad told her to lie down. This is where the conversation turned and I didn’t catch on, it would bug me for years after.

You see, we had driven home to see her in Regina at the beginning of January while she was having treatments. We decided, on the way home, that we would take another week off in February when we went home for our friend Owen’s wedding. As my talk with mom ended I told her that we had decided to go home in February and would go to see her after the wedding. Here is the conversation as I remember it:

MOM: Why are you coming home?

ME: Owen’s wedding is Valentine’s weekend and we will drive down on Sunday.

MOM: I liked Owen, I hope he and Karla have a nice wedding.

ME: I am sure they will. The whole family will be there.

MOM: Well, you don’t have to visit in February.

ME: Why?

MOM: You just don’t have to.

ME: Why? You don’t want to see your grandson?

MOM: I don’t need to see him, you’re good parents, he is loved. He will grow to be a handsome boy.

ME: Fine. So you don’t want to see him. But you want to see me right? (Insert sarcasm here)

MOM: No. You won’t need to visit because everything will be better by then.

ME: Oh. Are you saying you will be feeling so much better that you will be out watching dad curl?

MOM: Maybe. But both of us will be feeling better. Your dad will feel better because he won’t have to worry about me and I will be feeling better because the pain will be gone.

ME: Okay then. But can I at least call you from Regina and see how you are?

MOM: You can call but I don’t think I’ll be here. *Laughs* you tell Garth I love him. Give Danny a hug and a kiss. I love you. And Tanya, God Bless All Of You.

ME: Love you too.

I hung up thinking about nothing but how good she sounded. It was about 10 am the next morning that dad called and said she wasn’t feeling well and called an ambulance to take her to the hospital. She was rushed into Regina and passed away that Wednesday. It took me years to realize she was saying good bye. I believe she knew she wasn’t going to live much longer and was making it as easy as possible on me.

I am not writing this for sympathy but to memorialize my last conversation with mom. It seems right, it finally seems okay. I am ready to let others know her last words to me. I can still remember her voice and her laughter as if it was yesterday.

I love you mom and God Bless you.

The events in Charlottesville this past weekend and the aftermath that followed really upset me. From the riot/demonstration in Charlottesville, VA, to the death/murder of a young woman, to Trump’s first statement; it was all so damn sad and wrong. I was going to write a timeline of how everything went down but to save time, I have included a link instead: https://www.washingtonpost.com/graphics/2017/local/charlottesville-timeline/?utm_term=.8043005ef2d7

I’m not here to discuss how things went down, I am here to discuss my opinion as to why it was one-sided. Yes, there were groups from two sides involved, yes both sides hurled insults, used weapons and caused damage but this wasn’t about both sides because behaviour like this can be expected at any rally. This is about those people calling themselves “Nationalists”, it is about those people proudly wearing swastikas, it is about those people chanting “Blood and soil” and “Jews won’t replace us.” It is about those people who have the audacity to claim they are fighting and speaking for all of America.

While I was reading up on the story I noticed some comments in the news feed. I saw people comparing these Nationalists to Black Lives Matter. They are not the same. BLM was formed to protest the acquittal of Trayvon Martin’s murderer in 2012. They seek to protect all black lives regardless of religion, sexual identity, handicaps, etc. They simply want everyone to know that all Black Lives Matter globally. It has nothing to do with the U.S. specifically and for the most part they are peaceful. They do have some extremists but every group does. White Nationalists, on the other hand, have been around for years and believe that “White” is it’s own race. They seek to ensure the survival of their own and have been known to promote racial violence as a means to promote this so-called white race. They believe that immigration should be allowed only to those with European ancestory and with the U.S. allowing non-white immigration they are producing a culture that is morally inferior. The two cannot be compared at all, it’s like comparing apples and oranges.

Now, why is it one-sided? It is one-sided because the man who ran down the protesters in Charlottesville drove all the way from Ohio in his Charger to attend the rally and deliberately set out to hurt people. It is one-sided because not one statement was made declaring it a terror attack, which is funny because DT didn’t hesitate to berate the mayor of London for not declaring the murder of 7 people (and the injuring of many more) a terror attack. It is one sided because David Duke, a former KKK leader, tweeted…”Thank you President Trump for your honesty & courage to tell the truth about Charlottesville & condemn the leftist terrorists in BLM/Antifa.” It is one-sided because Richard Spencer an alt-right activist praised the president for his statement and blamed the police for not stopping the violence. It is one-sided because a Neo-Nazi website posted an article entitled: “Trump Defends Charlottesville Nazis Against Jew Media Lies, Condemns Antifa Terrorists.” To put it bluntly, it is one sided because Nazis and White-Nationalists decided to cause s**t and basically got away with it.

In conclusion, this was a one-sided event. Swastikas, Nazis, and Supremacy do not belong anywhere in North America.

And I am outta here!

It all started back in '90-'91. I was attending SIAST in Regina and I was taking Office Education. I needed a place to live while I was there and my Aunt had a friend who had a basement suite for rent. I believe the house was on Retallack but it could have been on Rae Street about a 25 minute walk from the school. I usually took the quickest and safest route, Albert Street, which was where I usually caught the bus as well.

I had a few school friends who lived around my area and when walking home we would take side streets or simply walk around the area. On one of these streets, I keep thinking Osler, there was a small, family owned, Chinese market. I loved it because their prices were cheaper and they had home made bread and buns. On days I went to the store, I would enter the back alley behind my house and go in the back gate because it was closer. Anyway, early in the fall, I had noticed a white panel van driving around but I only seemed to see it when I was alone. I assumed they lived in the area because it was always parked in front of a house just down from the market. I remember the driver always had a beard and long hair and the passenger always wore a tie dyed t shirt and his hair was always tied back in a pony tail.

One morning, as I was waiting for the bus, the van circled the block slowly about three times. There were other people at the stop with me, one being a young gentleman with long messy hair. I just assumed they knew someone at the stop or that they were looking for something. I got on the bus and went to school. I walked home alone that day and stopped at the store. As I came out, this van came around the corner and slowed down. I immediately got that creepy feeling, the hair was standing up on the back of my neck, I turned around and went back in the store; but not before seeing the dude from the bus stop. They stopped out front and waited for a few minutes and then left. I waited a few more minutes and when I didn't see the van again I left. By this time it was getting close to 4:30 in the afternoon and the street was quiet.

As I left the store, I looked around to see if there was anyone I could talk to if they came around again. I saw a young mom with two kids at the school playground about two blocks ahead so I crossed the street hoping that, if nothing else, I could at least ask if I could go to her house and use her phone. About half way there she left and the street was quiet. I started walking faster, I crossed a back alley and all of a sudden the van came out and drove slowly beside me. It went up the street and parked at an angle across the street so I couldn't cross. The driver was laughing and I noticed about five guys in the van. I went into the school yard hoping the school doors would be open, they took off. I tried the doors and they were locked. I came out the other side of the school and knowing I was only a few blocks from home, decided to get to a small, out of the way walking trail I had found. This would take me about three doors down from where I lived.

As I ran across the street, they came from the other direction, I ran down that path and I heard someone yell "F**K!" I kept running, pulled out my keys and as I got to the end of the path I saw them coming down the street and fast. I heard someone say "We got her." I turned around and went down the street the other way, turned the corner and hid between a few cars. They drove by and I heard someone say, "We'll get her in the back, that's where she lives." I ran fast, turned into the driveway, ran to the back, dropped my backpack on the step and opened the door because I could hear them coming. My land lady was away at the time so I closed the door and went upstairs and peeked out her window and sure enough there they were in the alley.

I double locked the door and went downstairs. For the next few hours I would peek out my bedroom window and they were in the alley. Either just leaving or just coming in. The doorbell rang a few times and someone knocked so I got even more creeped out. Garth had to drive in to Lethbridge the next day so I called and asked to stay there for a few days. I did, we drove around looking for the van after that but we never saw it, at least not on my street or the street where this all started. I moved shortly after and never had that problem again.

So tell me, was it young guys being a-holes and my paranoia or was it an attempted kidnapping gone bad?

It all started about 7:30 pm on July 1, 2017.   We had been to the park earlier, left to go home and then came back to plant our chairs and claim our seats at the East end of Henderson Lake.  This end of the lake gives us a perfect view without feeling crowded or having to smell the smoke wafting off the amazing pyrotechniques used.

I saw very few birds aside from gulls and crows that day.  As the sun started to set, the breeze came up and then the wind started to blow.  Well, gust actually, but it was nice after the hot, hot day we had just been through.  Anyway, just before the sun went down, two people came by with kayaks, set them in the water, put on life jackets and they were off.  It was nice to see them row off into the sunset, I watched them until they rowed under the bridge and were gone.  

Once darkness descended and the time for the fireworks drew nearer,  I could feel the butterflies in my stomach.  I have always liked fireworks and, like a child, I OOH and AAH with excitement.  I always try to take pictures in hopes of getting that iconic shot but in doing so, I sometimes miss watching them.  This year I decided there would be no pictures and I would watch with no “alterior” motive.

As the fireworks began, with what I will call a few false starts (at least in my opinion), there was another sound just North of where we were sitting.  I could here this splashing sound, vigorous splashing, and I wondered why someone would let their child play in the water, in the dark, with no supervision.  It was at this time that Daniel said “Look at the bird”.  As we waited for the official fireworks to start, I saw a Canadian Goose running across the water flapping it’s wings.  He/she ran across the water and almost to the other side before settling in to swim.  And then, just as the first large and bright firework lit up the clear night sky, this goose swam by for all to see.  As majestic as can be, both in silhouette and in colour, everyone saw it.  As the fireworks continued, this goose swam back trailed by about ten others.  It swam back again, only this time there must have been forty swimming along.  Calling out every once in a while but for the most part they swam quietly, back and forth, for the next half hour.

The fireworks themselves were some of the best I have ever seen.   After, as I said, a slow start they were continually lighting up the night sky.  There were star bursts, waterfalls, sparklers and even a happy face.  The colours ranged from bright white to almost a dark purple at times. There were some lower on or near the ground that, when lit, would burst and then go off in different directions looking like multitudes of fireflies, some looked like they were weaving through each other, and others seemed to burst sideways (almost in 3D).  

The best was the end.  After about a half hour or so, they sent up multiple at one time (as usual) but this time it was a little different.  And it was at this time I wished I had decided to take pictures.  As the multitude of colours lit up the night sky there, right in front of us, on the lake was a lone silhouetted kayaker, just floating on the water and taking it all in.  It actually made me choke up a bit.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is why this years fireworks were the most iconic ever.